You'll never know what will happen in the future
by Hasegawa
Summary: (and are powerless against it). Stiles' mother died when she was five. She learned to cope with Scott's help. However, the simple friendship slowly become something more for Stiles, yet it all changed when Allison came and Scott turned into a werewolf. Stiles deals with all the feels, problems and one scary alpha and creepy uncle. How will she cope?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Note: Stiles is a girl.**

* * *

When Stiles was five, her mother passed away from sudden car accident. She waited for her to return from the shop, but she never arrived. And then her father came home and told her that mother won't be back at all. She has gone forever, to a place better above.

The weeks after that, Stiles found herself watching her father buried himself in massive amount of alcohol and fast food. Stiles missed the home cooking his mother always made, but daddy couldn't cook much, so she ate the pizzas and take aways with him. Slowly her father got better, and one day he woke Stiles up looking sharp, just like before mother left them for good. At that time Stiles still thought mother went to the sky for a holiday, surely she would return soon. And seeing her father in his uniform, looking smart like before the day mother went away, Stiles pinned her hope and dressed herself in her most favourite dress, the one her mother always said made her look like a little bumblebee. She followed father to the car, excitedly moving her feet as they drove, probably to the shop, to get mother. Mother is coming back!

When they arrived in the daycare, Stiles wondered why the shop has a lot of children inside the compound. Then a lady came over, greeted her and told her father than Stiles would be fine with them. Stiles started to realise something was wrong. When her father rubbed her head and went back to the car, Stiles started crying. No, it was not the shop; Stiles didn't know the new place. Weren't they going to fetch mother? Why does father left her there? Where is he going? But the sheriff drove away, and Stiles' hand was clutched inside the new lady's arm.

Stiles learned that it was the daycare for children. She sat on the chair, wondering whether her father was fetching her mother now. Probably she went quite far, and it was easier for father to go and fetch her without Stiles being around. So Stiles endured the whole day in silence, eyes watching her surrounding while waiting till the time her daddy came back. Stiles was a bit afraid that her daddy wouldn't return just like mummy, but Stiles shook her head and waited for father to get her with mommy on the front passenger seat. Probably mummy would have some sweets for her as well, since she went away to the shop that day.

When finally father came to get her, he looked tired and pale, but he hugged Stiles tightly. Stiles hugged back, but was disappointed when she saw mother wasn't in the car.

"Where is mummy?" she asked.

Her father looked at her funny. And then he kneeled in front of her.

"She is gone, Stiles."

Stiles huffed, her father could be so slow at times, "I know. She went to the shop. Didn't you go to fetch her today? Where is she? Is she at home?"

Her father didn't answer the question until he tucked Stiles into her bed. Stiles was upset all through dinner because she didn't like the take away and she wanted her mother's cooking, but father didn't talk for the longest time and Stiles started to rant about how she wanted mother's lasagne.

"Sorry Stiles. She is gone… forever. I love you."

"What?" Stiles suddenly didn't feel sleepy anymore.

"Mummy is gone forever. She won't be back anymore. She is now living with the angels above."

"But why? Mommy doesn't love me anymore?" Stiles started to cry, "Does she not want to meet me anymore?"

"She loves you, Stiles." Her father cried too, and he hugged her, but she wouldn't hear his excuses. Mother was gone, and she won't come back. Was it because Stiles was bad?

Stiles cried and cried and cried that night, begging her father to tell mummy that she would be good, so please come back. Please tell mummy that Stiles is a good girl, will be a good and pretty and beautiful and good, always good, so please leave the angels and come back home. Her father didn't say anything and just hugged her for the whole night until she slept from exhaustion.

The next morning her eyes were swollen so badly she couldn't open them, and she kept calling mummy to make it better.

She got worse, but slowly she saw that everytime she cried, her father cried too, and everytime she begged him to get mummy home, he drunk a lot, so she stopped. She stopped crying and asking. She handled the crying alone in her room, promising herself that this would be the last night she cried herself to bed, and if mother wanted to come back, she would. If she doesn't, then she wouldn't. Stiles just need to suck it up.

It got better. She obediently went to the daycare, then kindergarten, then middle school. Her father returned to the old sheriff and she learned to take care of herself and him. She cooked, slowly getting better and better. She forced herself to remember what her mother did in the kitchen, then forced herself to remember the taste of her cooking while trying her hardest to imitate the taste based on what she remembered. She tried hard to do whatever mummy did; like putting flowers in the bathroom, getting trashy magazines just to make the room feel less lonely, keeping the garden as good as she could. And slowly, her father reduced his alcohol consumption to almost zero.

It taught her that there are things that she needs to just accept, because she could change nothing about it.

* * *

She was diagnosed with ADHD. Stiles thinks it was just because she couldn't stay still—she has a lot of things to do in order to keep the house, father and herself as well as possible, just in case when mother returned. She kept her belief, refusing to understand that death is final.

Her ADHD made it hard for her to get friends. Sometimes some of the girls in the class welcomed her in their group, but with her too active mouth and super fast brain, she couldn't hold a proper conversation about boring stuff of hair do and the boys they hated/liked. She didn't have time for those things. And so, slowly Stiles found himself as the bottom of the social ladder, the outcast that is good for group work (because Stiles is awesome with her research skill) but bad for social friending list. Especially since she is the daughter of the sheriff, making the students more wary around her just in case she reported small crimes they made back to her father (which is truly laughable, since the crime they made as a middle schooler is nothing sort of forgot to bring their textbook or forget to do homework, which is truly unworthy of police's attention at all).

But her belief crashed and burn the day Scott came into her life. Scott came as the new transfer student, and the teacher introduced him to the class. When recess came, some students flock around him, since he was the new factor in school's social ladder and everyone needs to ensure their own place. Scott was thinly and he kept wheezing, so the girls all asked him why. Scott innocently answered because he got asthma, which made several of the girls gave up on him. Then the rest asked about other normal questions like why you moved, and Scott answered it honestly, stating his parent's divorce.

"Oh, we are sorry to hear that," they told Scott, "Do you live with your father or mother now?"

"My mother. She is a nurse in the hospital." Scott answered.

"Well, cheer up mate, at least your parents are still alive, unlike Stilinski's over there." One of the classmate joked. Stiles turned her head automatically, hearing her own name being called.

"Excuse me?" Stiles spoke out. "My parents are still alive."

The classmate turned and shrugged. "Sorry, Stiles. I didn't mean to remind you of your mother..."

"What about her?" Stiles jerked up, ready to fight.

The boy shrugged it off and returned to talk to Scott. Stiles suddenly felt very angry and pulled the boy away, ready to fight. It escalated quickly, with Stiles adamantly defending her parents, until the boy shouted to the whole class that her mother has died in front of the shop due to a car accident. The shop is owned by the boy's family, and they were the one who helped called the ambulance and everything. Stiles screamed her head off about how he was a liar, and they ended up in the principal office.

Both students were reprimanded by the principal and the boy's parents were called. The boy argued with the principal since technically he didn't lie, yet the principal punished him while watching Stiles with pitiful eyes. It unnerved Stiles, who were trying to calm herself down on her chair and gently rocked herself. But the revelation stayed with Stiles. She couldn't keep her head inside the sand anymore. She knew her mother was dead, but she tried her best to keep the hope that one that perhaps she would come back to them. As she exited the principal office, she felt the boy's hand on her shoulder, ready to apologise properly; yet Stiles didn't want to hear the apology, so she ran away to the other direction. She entered the room by the end of the corridor, which thankfully is a library and is empty since it was between class hours.

She hid between shelves of the library, keeping her head between her legs as she crouched down and made herself as small as possible. She wouldn't cry, she promised she has finished crying about it that night. So what if her mother has died now? It has been years and Stiles has done a good job taking care both her father and herself. It was fine, everything was fine.

After a while, she heard the bell rang, telling her that school has ended. She heard someone came and sat beside her, and she felt a hand on top of her shoulder. When she looked up to see, she found Scott, the new student, crouching beside him and smiled weakly.

"Are you alright?"

Stiles didn't know. To be honest she wanted to know it herself. Should she mourn her mother again? But it has been so long ago and she was used being motherless now. On the other hand, she felt like the amount of time she spent crying back then was not enough now that she knew for sure mother wouldn't be coming back. Now that she think back, the brawl she started was rather ridiculous.

"I don't know." Stiles sniffed, blinking her eyes, keeping the tears in.

"You can say it out loud, you know." Scott smiled. "I did it, and it felt way better than keep it in. I … I don't like it when father hit my mother, I don't like it that she always looked tired, and I don't like it when father brought home weird women. But I was afraid to say anything, so I kept it in, and because of that I had asthma, that's what the doctor said. Anyway, I told mother about it one morning, about everything I felt, and the next day she divorced father and now we moved here and she never looked happier. So, I think speaking it out would help. It gets better, trust me."

Stiles bit her lips and started to cry. "I.. I kept telling myself mother will return, you know, probably from somewhere, she just went on holidays… I know she has gone, but I don't know, I just don't want to admit it. I guess.. I guess it was silly of me to be angry at him when he was actually telling the truth…"

Scott shook his head. "No, he was out of line. He shouldn't say that."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. I am sorry about your mother, though."

Stiles nodded. Then Scott grabbed her hand.

"Hi, my name is Scott McCall, what's your name?"

Stiles slowly smiled and shook Scott's hand. "My name is Genim Stilinski, but call me Stiles."

* * *

Stiles ended up being Scott's best buddy. And since Scott hang around Stiles, he ended up as the social outcast. Yet Stiles and Scot didn't care. They fastly became best buddy, with Stiles playing over to Scott's place almost everyday and enjoyed the same games with Scott. Slowly Stiles' dad and Scott's mom knew that their only child has gotten a bff, and they encouraged the pure friendship between the girl and the boy.

Sometimes Stiles and Scott went to Stiles' place and Scott would help Stiles cooked and when the sheriff returned back, he would eat with them and then sent Scott back to his place by car. Sometimes Melissa McCall, Scott's mother, took Stiles with her whenever she went shopping on the weekends and helped her choose clothes (but Stiles still used her father's credit card, as her father refused to let Melissa paid for Stiles). In the rare days where Melissa and John both found themselves with day off, they took both children to the park for a picnic or to the water park for a swimming day.

Stiles enjoyed the time of her life. She knew that Scott would be hers forever, and Scott would have her forever. Scott was not as strong or as manly or as naughty as other boys, and Stiles liked that. Scott knew her even better than herself, and she fancied that she knew Scott better than himself. Melissa already has a set of plates for her and a new futon for her if she wants to sleepover, and Scott already has his own room, the empty room beside Stiles' as well as the seat on the left side of the couch in Stilinski's house. Melissa let Stiles helped with cooking when Stiles stayed in McCall apartment and the Sheriff helped Scott to build up some body endurance through morning jog whenever the boy slept over Stiles' place.

Stiles thought there was something slowly budding between her father and Scott's mother, but it was not really important at the moment. What really important is the game she played with Scott, their homework and how to get Scott to eat carrots (which he hated with passion).

When Stiles got her first period, Melissa gently guided her and told her what to do with herself, how precious she is, and how her body would change. How she would grow into a beautiful and strong woman, and how she needs to treasure her body for the one person she love and would be married to. Stiles ended up sleeping while being hugged by Melissa, and Stiles felt guilty when she wished Melissa was her mother. Scott came to school one day with red face, and even though Stiles tried to pry, Scott wouldn't tell why. But the boy ended up talking to Stiles' father, and the next day Scott returned to normal. When Stiles asked her father what it was all about, her father smirked and said it was a boy's problem, just like how girls have their own problems. Stiles asked whether Scott has period as well, and the sheriff blushed before laughing for the next five minutes. But he didn't tell Stiles what happened. Stiles pouted, but she felt happy that Scott shared something with her father.

The bond became deeper and deeper, then suddenly Stiles realised she has grown. Her chests are bigger now, not that big like Lydia's, but still quite evident if she looked down. Melissa helped her to choose bras and panties when they went shopping together while Scott and Stiles' father waited outside, pretending not to notice the obvious lingerie shop in front of them.

Her body changed was followed by change in mentality. Suddenly she was well aware how close Scott was, how his body scent always linger around her clothes, how he is taller than her by just a bit. Scott was still thin and a bit sickly but he got way better compared to when he first moved to Beacon County. Stiles started to realise that she could no longer pretending to not feel it when she put her head on Scott's lap as she read and Scott played the playstation (of course Stiles has finished the game in record time and Scott was very determined to finish the game as soon as possible).

Slowly she felt differently about Scott. How he was no longer the Scott her BFF, but Scott a boy. It felt nice to walk beside him not because Scott was her only friend in the world, but because Scott made her heart went a bit faster. She found herself choosing her clothes more carefully before she went to school, just to ensure she looked decent and pretty enough for Scott. She started to take longer in the bathroom, ensuring that there is no unwanted body hair perking around for people to see. She washed her hair more frequently and sometimes even asked Melissa to help her tied it up in a cute bun or in an elaborate French braid. Scott never noticed, but Melissa has been looking at Stiles differently, as if she was trying to determine what Stiles was feeling.

Stiles really think that it would last forever. Scott and Stiles, together forever and ever. Always the best friend. And isn't it good to marry your best friend, because they knew each other so well. Stiles slowly let herself imagine (in her ADHD mind) what her wedding dress would look like, what would they be (Scott would be a vet and Stiles would be the most awesome marine biologist), where they would live and how they would share a room for college. Scott has entered the lacrosse team while Stiles was in the cheerleading (and they were both benchwarmers), and it was just fun to tease each other from the benches while the clubs practiced. Everything was perfect and Stiles felt very, very comfortable.

And it all changes when Allison came into the picture.

* * *

Allison came as a new transfer student. Stiles immediately think that the girl was super pretty and looked super kind, and probably it would be awesome to befriend her. When she turned to share her opinion with Scott, she saw something worrying. Scott looked like he was in a trance, watching every movement Allison made.

When Allison was seated just in front of Scott, Stiles felt for the first time, the dark thrill of jealousy.

* * *

Things changed. It was no longer Scott and Stiles. It became Scott moaning about Alison and how perfect she was, to Stiles. Their time together no longer filled with easy banter and games and epic adventures, it became the psychiatric session in where Scott wondering how he would get Alison to see him while Stiles nursed her painful chest while ensuring Scott that he was a great guy and he was the best boyfriend a girl could wish for.

Stiles would then return home feeling dejected and looked at herself in the mirror and compared herself to Alison. They were like heaven and earth, Alison so perfect while Stiles is just normal. It dampened Stiles' spirit, but she kept it cheerful enough whenever her father was at home. She wondered if she was thinner, would she looked as good as Alison? It was silly, but Stiles started dieting and tried her best to get into the cheerleading team. She almost got in, but found herself one step too fast and ended up falling on her own bum. She twisted her ankle that way, and she ended up becoming a benchwarmer again for sure. Her ankle needed total rest for at least a week, so Stiles skipped class for the whole week. By the middle of the week, it felt like the world has stopped moving, Stiles was utterly bored and lonely. Scott hasn't visited him much, and the only time he visited, he updated her with stories about Alison this and that, which made Stiles felt even worse.

By the fifth day, Stiles was feeling sorry for herself when Scott came into her room and asked her to cheer up. He saw that Stiles were truly depressed and finally talked about something else other than lacrosse and Alison. He mentioned about the ghost, murderer and voices from the forest around the County. Stiles perked up, eager to talk about anything other than Alison, so she egged him on and suddenly it felt just right to go and visit the forest themselves. Scott waited as she walked slowly using the crutches borrowed from the hospital.

That night, Scott was bitten and turned into a werewolf.

* * *

Things got better for Scott. He became faster, healthier and most importantly, more attractive. Soon, Alison became enamored with him. In the meantime, Stiles worried for Scott immensely, helping Scott to find out what happened with him, and finally researched as much as she could on werewolves and the myth surrounding them. Stiles could research a lot because she was still locked in her bedroom, unable to move too far or too fast without feeling pain from her ankle. Thus, Stiles was so busy in her research and worry that she didn't realise how close Alison and Scott had been.

So she was truly shocked and devastated when she went to fetch Scott the first day she was well enough to driver her jeep and found out that Scott and Allison has become a couple the night before. She was in her jeep, honking to get Scott to come down so they could go to school since they were almost late, and Scott came down with the most obnoxious smile on his face.

"What makes you so happy?" Stiles asked, smirking. Her ankle is better now, and she can walk normally again (even though she couldn't do cheer leading at least for another month).

Scott looked at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes and the proudest grin. "Yesterday Allison agreed to go on a date with me."

"...What." WHAT.

"Allison agreed to go out with me." Scott's grinned became disgusting for Stiles.

"When?"

"Well... when you are still recuperating in the house because of your ankle, I kind of need to make group with somebody else and she offered, so we kind of talked and I got her phone number and we started chatting."

Stiles wanted to bite something. While she was worrying sick about Scott's new condition and couldn't leave her bedroom because of the damn ankle, Scott got closer to Allison. And now they are going out. Why? Why? WHY?

It's not fair.

"Hey, Stiles? Stiles? You okay? You looked pale so suddenly and your heartbeat slowed so suddenly."

"..."

"Stiles? Stiles?"

"...Scott, I suddenly felt sick. I want to go home. Please go to school without me."

"Are you alright? I can send you to doctor now. Or we can call my mom. She is still upstairs, her shift is afternoon today..."

"No, I'll be alright. Just... Just woman's problem. Sorry, I think I need a day off. Would you tell the teacher for me?"

Scott finally agreed and let Stiles drove away her jeep. Stiles didn't look back, trying to keep her eyes on the road, while it became blurry from unspilled tears.

it was then she accidentally crashed the jeep onto Derek Hale.

* * *

To be continued.

As you may guess, the continuation will be Stiles trafficking Derek into her room and kept him safe there, while mourning about her lost love. Then something slowly build up between Stiles and Derek, but Stiles was still too hurt from her broken heart while Derek is emotionally constipated. Soon Stiles and Derek found themselves scratching each other's need, which resulted in unwanted pregnancy. This will be followed by Stiles' angst, Sheriff's guilt to not being there when she needs him, her will to get better and Derek's realisation of his own feeling towards Stiles. Then enter Peter to havoc it all.

If gets enough response I will continue. if not, this will be another unfinished promt.

Or if you are interested, please take it over from here.

BTW please visit me at hasesosi dot tumblr dot .com


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

Stiles' heart stopped beating for a second. She has crashed into someone. She killed someone. The man is dead because of her. She took a life. All because she was stupidly mourning a broken heart.

She quickly went out of the jeep and kneeled beside the man. He passed out, but his chest moved up and down, slowly. Stiles felt so much relief that she felt tears went down her face so hard. Some words, meaningless, went out of her mouth, yet she didn't know and didn't care of what she was saying. All she knew was she needed to make sure the man gets the medical attention he needed.

"…Hospital?" Stiles caught herself asking, either herself or the man or the air, but the word induced response from the man. He groaned loudly, a big NO. Stiles stopped ranting and saw that the man has blood on his side, originated from the abdomen. Feeling panicked in full blown now, she took off her own flannel shirt and pushed it towards the bleeding source. The man moaned in pain even louder.

She finally managed to get the man into the car, while in the meantime the man kept saying no hospitals, no hospital, no hospital. Feeling trapped and guilty (since she crashed into him), Stiles took the jeep to her home and helped the man to sleep on her own bed. She didn't even think about it; even though thinking back she would then realise that the sofa, the carpeted floor, or the guest room would be better choice. But the regret came later, and now Stiles was busy feeling guilty, panicky and trying to treat the man on the same time.

She started by opening the part where the blood came out, and she cut the man's shirt. By the help of Google, she managed to open the part and cleaned up the wound. The wound didn't look like the usual wound from crashing, it looked more like slashing wound. Feeling suspicious but still guilty, Stiles took it to herself to perform immediate closing of the wound, probably by sewing it up. She had never done that before, but Google was pretty helpful and she was fuelled by adrenaline.

The man moaned in pain, so Stiles took the aspirin and gave three tablets straight away into the man's mouth. He looked like wanting to throw them up, but Stiles massaged the throat, so that the medicine was swallowed. This was something she learned to ensure Scott ate his medicine back when he was still so sickly. Then she kept the man hydrated by making sure he drunk more and more water, luckily they still got some plastic straws from picnic last month.

Slowly the man fell into deep sleep; and Stiles found herself covered in sweat and blood. She slowly cleaned up, making sure the room was warm and then closed the door behind her. She entered the bath and when the water rained over her, she started to sob her heart out.

* * *

The man hasn't woken up yet when Stiles finished crying her heart out and finished her bath. It was lucky for her that father has not yet returned from his work. She decided to sleep in the guest room, letting the man slept in her bed. She wished everything would be a dream tomorrow. And before she went to bed, she took one, two, three, four aspirins. She really just wanted to be numb and asleep. She didn't want to think. She wanted to be free for once.

Luckily the drug worked quickly and immediately she fell asleep.

She woke up feeling like she had died and returned from the deathland. It was not fun, and her whole body hurt. Her eyes were swollen and immediately she remembered why she was crying her heart out. Her heart started to beat faster and why why why I killed a man filled her head.

It took her a while to calm down, but tears started to fall again. Her mother's image, blurry and smiling, waving as she went away from the door. How her father drunk himself to sleep. How she wished she could still keep her childish imagination of mother being back home. How Scott saved her. How Scott became more and more like a man. How Scott made her happy and her heart racing. It was the simplest thing, like when he took her chewed pen and used it to fill in the answer he saw from Stiles' homework. How they looked like the perfect family when they went to picnic, Scott helping her with the barbeque. How Scott played with her hair when she was trying her hardest to kill the zombies. How their sims characters seemed to like each other from the start, and how Scott decided that they should get married and built a house like Batman's.

One time, Stiles asked Scott to eat in the diner where the kid at school all went to, and Stiles dressed up a bit. She actually put on a heel, it was only 3 cm heels but still a challenge for Stiles. Then Stiles fell flat on her face. Scott helped her up while laughing so hard. And they had the perfect dinner, which Stiles counted as a date, while eating steaks and watching the football game in the diner's telly.

One time, Stiles woke up to find Scott sat beside her eating cookies and when he realised she has woken up, he smiled. "Wanna some?"

One time Stiles actually taught Scott how to do algebra and Scott whined, trying to bribe Stiles with candies and games and helping chores if Stiles would stop the algebra torture.

And then Scott smiled so widely and so happily, saying he is going out with Allison.

What's wrong with her? Why is she never enough?

Stiles rubbed her eyes and slowly woke up. It was five am in the morning, and she was sure her dad just returned at two, so he must be sleeping by now. She slowly opened the door and went to her door, opened it and found that the bed was empty, while mostly unmade. There were some spots of blood, but it was empty. And her window opened.

She quickly checked whats missing from the room, but her laptop and phone were still there. Nothing was stolen. She wondered whether the man felt better already, or whether she was so bad that he didn't even want to stay in her room to recover. Feeling bitter, she entered the blanket and curled there. It smelled a bit like sweat and blood and it was disgusting, but it was fine for Stiles. She doesn't deserve much more, anymore.

Father didn't check her at all. Otherwise he would already thrown a tantrum demanding to know who was sleeping on Stiles' bed. Or probably asked why Stiles was on the guest room's bed. But nothing was asked, her father must be so tired that he went straight to sleep. Stiles understood that long time ago. She understood. But just this time, she wanted him to come and check her before he went to sleep.

She was hurt, in pain and so lonely.

* * *

Waking up to go to school was so hard. Stiles wished she has superpower of keeping everything at bay and functioned like a robot. It was not the first time she wished she has Professor X or Jean Grey's power to keep her mind sane. Or to read people's mind, so she didn't assume other's feeling for her. She couldn't afford to make mistakes anymore. She shouldn't assume that people cares anymore. So she would assume that nobody cares, and it pained her chest.

She forgone the breakfast and drove to school. She didn't bother to get Scott, since she wasn't sure how she would react if she saw Scott more than required. And Scott has a girlfriend now, so surely he wouldn't want to be seen with Stiles anymore.

She walked and tried to hide herself between the sea of student. Not really bad, actually. Nobody realised she was there and she put her stuff in the locker. When the first class came, she entered and found that her seat was taken by Allison, with Scott and Allison talking and smiling like they were the only two people in the world.

Stiles knew she was not wanted, so she took one of the empty spot. Beside her sat Danny, one of the hot lacrosse team player who is openly gay. He was not flamboyant, so people don't really tease him. He was cool in Stiles' book, so she sat beside him. The class started and Stiles tried to pay attention. She failed. Chewing the top of her pen, she wondered how many stuff has she missed, why was it so hard to follow the teacher's words when Danny suddenly passed her a note.

_Are you ok_

Stiles wrote back. _Fine thanks._

_You were assigned to be my partner. Allison choose Scott first_

Stiles didn't answer and just nodded. She then flipped the page of the textbook and read through from where she was familiar with before she twist her ankle and let Allison snatch Scott from her.

It was hard though. She just wanted to brood and cry.

When suddenly the bell rung, Stiles has learned nothing. Feeling even useless, she rubbed her face as hard as she could. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She almost smiled and called Scott name when she saw that Danny was the one with his hand on her shoulder.

"Look Stilinski, if you want I can teach you the materials. I see that you are struggling today."

He is so good, Stiles wondered. Forcing herself to smile, she nodded and accepted the help. Danny told her that he would come to her place after school and they could study together, and tomorrow he would bring any notes he had from last week.

It was a helpful hand to the shattered Stiles, and Stiles grabbed into it as hard as she could. She knew it meant nothing because Danny is gay, and she didn't want to assume anything anyway, so it was save. Danny is save. She could do this, she could find a new friend. A new best friend who wouldn't get snatched by other girls.

* * *

"Come over here, this is my room—" Stiles opened her room door to find the man she almost killed yesterday was standing in the middle of the room. Stiles was so shocked she closed the door again. To Danny, she tried her best to maintain her cool pose, "Ah, it is quite messy, so can you give me ten minutes to clear it up? Or we can study someplace else."

Danny shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat."

Stiles asked him to wait in the living room, and she entered her room feeling like she was going to her execution.

The man was standing in the middle of the room, looking healthy and super demanding. His presence just made her wanted to run away. It was pretty scary. And his facial expression screamed murder, possible serial killer.

"You."

Stiles felt her sarcasm came back. "Me."

"You."

"Me?"

"You let me sleep here yesterday."

"Well… yeah?" Stile shrugged and saw that the bed sheet still showed blood and surely smelled like sweat. "I… Look, I am really sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to hit you with my jeep. I mean, I helped you back here and listened to your no hospital pleads and frankly I was broken hearted because Sco… boy slash friend actually went with someone else while I was resting here a week because of stupid ankle and I don't think its necessary to call ambulance and I was panicking and—"

The man growled. Like, real growl of wounded animal's. Stiles immediately stopped talking.

"Thank you."

"…Welcome?" Stiles wondered whether it was the right thing to say or she was being a retard.

"I need a temporary place to stay."

Stiles raised an eyebrow. She felt she done this one right at least. "…So?"

"Since you did actually crash into me and caused me great pain and actually sew my skin together," the man opened his shirt and holy, Stiles could count to eight muscle bundles, "I think I'll stay here for the meantime till I can find someplace else to go."

Stiles wanted to say big NO, but the killer facial expression informed Stiles that if she refused, then she would be Hannibal's meal the next day, so she nodded quickly.

"Is that your boy friend or whatever it is waiting outside?" the man growled.

"Oh Danny? No, no, he is my classmate and he is kind enough to help me catch up with the stuff I missed while waiting for my ankle to heal. Don't mind him, but I would be grateful if you could move to next door while he helped me…"

The man growled again. "I am not moving anymore."

Stiles rubbed her temple. "But what should I say to him about you?"

The man shrugged. "not my business."

"Fine." Stiles sighed. "Whats your name anyway?"

"Derek."

"Nice to know you Derek, and I am sorry I crashed you but I wish our acquaintance is short. Call me Stiles."

"You are… a girl, right?"

"Yeah, so?" Stiles suddenly became defensive. She wouldn't let anyone questioned the name her mother has bestowed upon her.

"No… Nothing."

* * *

"Uh…. Stiles, I am sorry, but your boyfriend is staring to hard. I feel a bit awkward." Danny whispered. "Do you think you can get him out, or shall I return tomorrow?"

Stiles sighed and turned back. Derek was sitting on the bed, staring intensely at them.

"Derek, dear, would you kindly let us study? You can get yourself something to eat downstairs."

The man looked at her and she looked at him back and then Derek went out from the room.

"He is one possessive soul." Danny commented. "How did you meet him?"

"I crashed into him—" literally, but Stiles didn't want to say that out loud, "when I walked home. And we talked and here we are. He is hot, no?"

Danny looked at Stiles strangely. "Stiles, look. I know we are not close or anything and I haven't say much to you before, but you bump into someone and talked and suddenly become a couple? That sounds not too good."

"It's alright, you have nothing to worry about." Stiles smiled. "I am fine. Thanks, though."

"how long have you known him?"

One night? One day? "A couple of days."

Danny sighed. "Look, I know it has been hard for you, especially with your ankle and Scott suddenly getting a girlfriend, but hooking up with a man you know only a couple of days is safe. You are a girl, Stiles. Sometimes you may forget about that but you need to keep yourself safe, girl."

" Ah." Stiles wanted to laugh it off, but this was the kindest thing anyone ever said to her since she didn't even know when and all she wanted was to cry. She couldn't laugh it off. The attention, the advice, the caring, it all felt so good. "Oh."

"I know he looks hot and all, but his eyes look like he is crazy. Do you want me to help you get him out of here? Why is he here in the first place anyway?"

"He is here because he has notwehere else to go." Stiles answered honestly. It just felt bad to lie to Danny, because Danny seemed to care, the only person who cared about her now.

"That's even worse." Danny paled. "Does your mothe… Sorry, I mean does your father know?"

Does he even care? Stiles asked herself, and it hurt her for a second; but she smiled. She couldn't let Danny made a big deal out of it. Derek would kill her. Or tell her dad that she crashed him with her jeep. She loved that jeep. "….Yes."

Danny couldn't say anything after that, and quickly finished their study session. When Danny walked down to the door, Derek watched them closely (he looked comfy by the kitchen table, eating what Stiles knew was her sandwich and peanut butter jelly supply with ease, until Stiles closed the front door behind her.

"…Happy now?"

Derek didn't answer, but he kept munching on the sandwiches.

* * *

Stiles managed to keep Derek to the other side of the bed, luckily the bed is big enough for both of them if they lay by their side. She has changed the bedsheet, so it didn't smell anymore. Stiles kept her blanket for her, and gave Derek a resemblance of towel blanket. The man received it without comment and went to bed after he used the bathroom. He smelled like father's soap so probably he did take a bath.

When it became silent and Stiles wondered what her life has turned out, she heard her father's steps downstairs. She wanted to go and greet her, but a hand caught her arm and held her still. So she stayed and listened as her dad oepend the fridge, heat the food, eat them, took a bath and walked across the corridor to his room.

She waited for her dad to come into her room to kiss her goodnight. But it didn't happen. Her dad walked straight to his own room and ignored her. In disappointment, she started to wonder when did dad stop coming into her room. She was always sleeping when he came home, but she always fancied to think that father always gave her good night kiss before he went to sleep. Since when did it stop or whether it has actually even started?

She felt so abandoned sometimes.

She felt her chest pained and her eyes getting blurried so she snatched her arms away and hid herself under the blanket. She tried to sob as quietly, hoping that Derek let her be.

And she cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning came and Stiles felt a bit better.

By then she has fixed herself some simple breakfast and brought Derek some toasts before she went off to school. She ensured that her dad was still asleep and fixed him a full breakfast on the table too. She wondered whether she was actually doing it sincerely as a daughter, or as a plead to her father to remember that she was still there—the breakfast couldn't make themselves, could they?

While she drove to school, her mind rushed quickly through things. The thing with ADHD is that she couldn't stop thinking about everything—every single thing triggered another reaction, linked it to something to think about and everything crashed before she gets distracted by something else. She was said to be very talkative, a chatterbox who always said nothings and doesn't know when to stop. People just don't understand that she was hiding behind her ramblings; she always thought about something other than what she was saying, and most of the time it helps her to keep sane—to hide behind the nastiness of her own desperation to be noticed and disabling loneliness.

She wondered how should she faced Danny—and then promptly thought that she might need to do grocery today. She has nothing in her fridge—the damn weird man has taken all of her peanut butter jelly supply. With his size, no wonder Derek has finished up Stiles' three days supply worth. Stiles, while not as girly as other girls, was still considered small in built. Just like mommy, with long, raven hair and golden eyes like father's. She wished father would look at her once again and told her, like he used to, that she looks like perfect blending of her father and mother.

Scott stopped in front of her jeep. She sighed and parked it, then faced the music.

"I didn't get the chance to see you yesterday. I was waiting for you in the morning, after school—"

"Yeah?" Stiles smiled. It felt numb. Something was blocking her from her own feeling. She could do this. She is the queen of denial. If she could deny her own mother's death for years, she can so deny that she was ever in love with Scott. "I saw you busy flirting with Allison, so I thought I'll scram somewhere. How's her, by the way? Why is she not here with you this morning? Oh I haven't say congrats yet. Finally she turned to you eh? How's Melissa by the way?"

Melissa would no longer be Stiles' mother in law to be.

"Stiles!" Scott pouted. "I am sorry, I didn't mean… it was just so sudden and Allison asked me to wait for her, but I told her I wanted to speak to you. Stiles? Are you mad at me?" Scott whimpered. Stiles turned to him, looking at the boy turned young adult who has stolen her heart and imagination of what future should look like. Wonderful. She could never win against that pouting face. Never.

So she smiled and rubbed the werewolf's hair. "Hey it's alright. Stiles is never angry!"

Scott smiled so blindingly like sun, that Stiles believes she was fine being burned just for that radiance.

"Well, you know…" and the conversation turned to something else, which is the usual thing between them, "they found a body in the woods that we went—a lady's named Laura Hale."

Stiles' interest was piqued, and so both of them walked to the class while speculating about the mystery of the murder. It was almost like the old time, almost, just until Allison came out from the other side of the corridor, and Stiles was forgotten once again.

Stiles was introduced properly to Allison. Stiles smiled, Allison smiled. Allison is the true epitome of female beauty, and Stiles wondered why she was so stupid thet she ever thought she has a chance to win against this creature.

* * *

Danny lent her his notes, and after praising him as her angel, Stiles swore to study that night, carefully. All plans were thwarted when she went home and found Derek standing against an opened fridge, growling form both mouth and stomach.

"Alright, alright, I'll do grocery now." Stiles mumbles and took the keys she has automatically thrown to the bowl beside the front door. Derek suddenly came towards her.

"I am coming."

Stiles looked at him, then shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Just when Stiles was ready to park near her usual grocery store, she turned to see Derek watching her closely, silently. She spoke 15 miles a second, about everything she saw, even the squirrel on the side of the road, but Derek didn't response to a single thing. And then she realised. She couldn't show Derek around her normal stuff for various reasons, the most obvious being 1.) she doesn't want to give him more idea of what her routine looks like, just in case he is actually a creepy stalker (too late, too late, she hears her own voice in her head, he is already sleeping on your bed) and 2.) people in Beacon Hills talks like there is no tomorrow. If she showed up with Derek, people would talk and soon her father would know.

Scott would know.

So she changed her mind, then turned the car back to the road. Derek didn't comment, just silently watching Stiles. Stiles asked the man to stop it, but it surprised her that Derek actually respect her wish and turned away from her.

She brought them to a bigger supermarket on the other side of town.

It was a fun thing, actually. Stiles decided to pretend Derek is Scott—she asked the man to do Scott's usual stuff, let him pushing the trolley, asking his opinion on which one was better (tomato sauce with wine, or five cheese?). She even asked what she wanted to eat, and it felt as easy as she was talking to Scott. It felt like she was fine, everything was fine, it was Stiles and Scott all the way through all over again.

"Sco—Derek, what do you want, orange juice or apple? I want the passionfruit, no deal, so you choose your own, don't touch mine."

Derek grunted and took the orange bottle from the shelves. Stiles smiled widely at him and patted his arm—damn, muscle, pure muscle, all muscles there—just like how she usually she patted Scott.

It gave her a pang of emptiness for a second, before jumping herself to think about something else, like detergent and more bandaids…

"Oh! How's your scar?"

Derek shrugged, and Stiles causally lifted the shirt he wore (damn, hello, eight pack!) but saw no scar at all. That froze her for a second.

"…You heal quite fast."

Derek didn't say anything, entiher denying or agreeing with Stiles.

"…You should still have… are you…. Werewolf?"

Stiles found herself being lifted and slammed to the shelves. Pain shot from her back, and people looked at them funnily. Derek seemed to realise it as well, so he loosened her grab on Stiles, but hands on her nape, threatening to crack her precious neck if she dares to do anything or say anything stupid.

It was not like the sexy shoved "Love the way you lie" by Eminem n Rihanna where Dom slammed Megan Fox onto the wall. For one, Megan Fox is unbelievably sexier than Stiles, and secondly, Dom continued to kiss Megan, whereas Derek looked like he wants to skin Stiles alive. Stils readied herself for another pain or punch and hunched.

Derek swallowed hard.

Damn, why why why why why why.

She is a total retard, with the luck like fucktard.

"Let's go. We have enough." Was the first time Derek said anything in the trip, and Stiles nodded quickly—agreeing to almost everything, even if Derek ordered her to eat her own shoes.

When the time to pay came out, Derek stared at Stiles, raising his eyebrows. Stiles scowled, and took the precious wallet. She might need to redo her budget for the month then. With the extra mouth to fed—she could probably bluff through and told her father the increase in food budget is because Scott's increase appetite—it was true, to a degree now that Scott is a werewolf—but she didn't want to burden her father too much already so she wondered whether she should take a new part time job—she slowly took out all the cash she has to pay the whole stuff. Luckily she still have a few dollars change left, and she started to wonder would it be plausible to get dinner leftover as tomorrow's lunch, or probably she could forgo tomorrow lunch, stating diet? Probably she needs to diet, since Allison… Ah, her mind needs to come back, come back and don't think about anything painful.

When she was ready to carry the bags, Derek took over and he made it looks so easy. The gorceries bags looked like something that would fill a normal shopping trolley and with two bottles of juices, various stuff and ten kgs detergent, Derek's biceps never looked stronger.

Stiles knew that if those biceps decided to choke her, she would die in seconds.

* * *

They entered the jeep, and Stiles felt her hand started to tremble. Would Derek kill him now?

"You know werewolf."

Stiles nodded. "Sco—my best—my friend was bitten and showed the characteristic of one." Stiles wondered what she should refer to Scott as. How everything has change just in a few days…

"Don't tell anyone about this. And where does this Scott live?"

"Sorry?" Stiles turned. "How did you know…"

"You called his name several times a day, even in your sleep. Scott, the boy. Where does he live?"

"Why would you care?"

"Because I need to guide him through being a werewolf. This is not a laughing matter, Stiles."

"Why should I trust you?"

The question stopped Derek's movement. He stared at Stiles a bit longer before he sighed.

"Start driving."

"Yes master boss." Stiles pouted softly, because as much as she wanted to sass, she didn't want to be mauled by a wolf. She didn't see Derek's small smile beside her.

* * *

Derek cannot cook. Stiles learned the hard way when Derek couldn't even make a salad. He was useless with knife, which when Stiles commented on, brought an angry growled and exclamation that claws worked better than knives. That shut Stiles up, because she didn't need to see the proof. She believes it 100%.

So Derek got the duty to clean the bathroom. Stiles wondered how the hell she could do that, but Derek actually move and went to bathroom and started cleaning when Stiles jokingly told him that if he has nothing to do he might as well clean the bathroom in return of free meal and bed. Well, probably Derek wasn't too bad of a person, Stiles mused to herself as she took out the last piece of chicken and put it on the plates.

They ate in mostly Stiles' monologue. Derek hasn't yet to speak anything after Stiles' last question, so Stiles took it as a permission to be Stiles again. She ranted about the price of potato compared to the price of onion, how the supermarket charged a lot while actually not providing much job to community (they have used those automatic check out machines and reducing the number of jobs—they should give the customers some discount, but nope, no discount. Such greedy corporation. Derek polished his plates and looked like waiting for second plate, so Stiles relented and gave him the portion she made for her lunch tomorrow. Probably tomorrow she could steal from Scott's lunch or maybe she could just keep herself full with water. It wouldn't be so bad to fast sometimes.

They ended up on the couch, Stiles busy reviewing Danny's notes while Derek flicked through TV. Stiles chewed her bottom lips, wondering why she felt so like an idiot. She has missed so much and Danny's writing was so neat and cute, better then hers for sure. If she couldn't catch up, then she might be failing for sure. She always maintained her place as the top 10 in class, so this was a bit annoying. When she looked up to check on Derek, the man was gone, but returned a second later with a glass of passionfruit juice. He put it in front of Stiles.

Stiles smirked, but quickly hid her smile with hand. It was pretty sweet, actually.

After bath, they returned to bed, sleeping beside each other. And suddenly Stiles felt not alone anymore. Probably Derek really didn't have anywhere to go. And if it's actually true, then he could stay with Stiles. Stiles could adopt him in. Then she would have some companion who needs her and wont abandon her, like mother or father or Scott. And Derek probably really didn't have anything—no money or place to sleep for sure. No clothes either, as Stiles saw Derek using the same clothing from yesterday. Freshly laundered though, so probably he used the laundry machine after her father went to work and then go around the house naked until it dried up. The thought made Stiles laugh; and she felt Derek's eyes on her back. Yet she ignored it and snuggled deeper into her lovely blanket.

That sounds so lovely. She got a pet wolf. A man pet wolf.

* * *

She woke up to an empty bed.

In the middle of sleepy haze, she didn't understand why it made her so upset. Then, the next moment, her door was opened and father came in.

She groggily yawned, felt her forehead being kissed, tucked back into the blanket, and she continued sleeping.

In the middle of her dream, she felt lost and realised that her pet has left her.

* * *

Notes:

Please tell me what you think

Also visit me on hasesosi. tumblr!


	4. Chapter 4

A week after.

In the morning, Stiles slowly stretched her limbs, and found that again, Derek was spooning her from behind. His arm was on her hip, while his body directly touched her back. His legs were stretched on and between her own, and dear God, he felt like a furnace, hot and muscly. Stiles tried to move, but immediately she noticed that something hard and long was poking her back.

She could only guess what that was. She never knew male's anatomy that well, since Scott never slept in the same bed with her ever since they entered junior high school. And she couldn't pretend she likes being hugged from behind like this too, as she felt so warm and safe inside those embrace. When she tried to wriggle her bum and back over it, Derek would groan (somewhere between angry growl and happy purr), making Stiles somehow felt weird and needed to pee. So she sighed and let herself be hugged for another ten minutes before forcefully releasing herself from Derek's arm.

As usual, Stiles waking up and pushing him away woke Derek. This had happened for the past three days, and they have passed the stage where Stiles stumbled with red face and blush all over her body and screaming like a virgin sacrifice—only screaming without sounds as she unconsciously doesn't want to wake her father, while Derek grumbled and muttered sorry. After three days of waking up in the same position each time, slowly it became some sort of normalcy—in which made Stiles wondering why the hell she became like that.

That aside, Stiles usually woke up and then went to the bathroom to take short shower before preparing food for breakfast. Derek would take over the bath after her, and soon they would eat breakfast together. These days, since the discovery of Laura Hale's body in the forest, Sheriff Stilinski increasingly came back later and later, and thus ruining his own natural clock, making him unable to wake up before at least 9:00 am. It made eating with Derek easier for Stiles, and then Stiles would drives her jeep to school while Derek does what Derek do.

It became some sort of domestic feeling, really, and it kind of made Stiles happy. She knows next to nothing about Derek—the man hasn't say anything more than a sentence to her at all. But it doesn't matter. It kept everything simple, and she likes simple. Derek needed her, and so she could bury her head inside people who needed her and forgot people who doesn't need her.

But the good feeling ended when Stiles realised it was the time of the month again—she starts having her period. The annoying speck of blood in her panties was the premonition to the upcoming five days of doom. She sighed as she took the spare pads and wondered whether she has enough pad supply this time. Maybe not. Shopping is in order.

* * *

Stiles could feel Derek's eyes when they entered the rack of female hygiene products. He stopped on the end of the row, refusing to follow Stiles who was bending over and looking for her usual brand of pads (Melissa has told her about tampons and pads; Stiles founds she is more comfortable with pads. Also, Melissa told her about the cotton and wings type of pads, so Stiles follows her advises and chooses one of the cheaper brand but with good quality).

When Stiles turned and saw Derek on the end of the row, looking uncomfortable, she smirked.

"What, you are scared with feminine products?"

Derek growled, looking angry and unamused. Stiles smirked and waved one of the pads box in front of him. "Which one is cuter, the flower pattern or the rabbit pattern?"

Derek refused to answer and looked away, but he stood by the end of the row waiting for Stiles, so Stiles counted it as a win. They resumed the grocery trip after that, and Stiles managed to make Derek promised to carry all the bags afterward.

"Because you are a werewolf with super power, you can totally help me to carry the grocery. Oh, you know what, I'll even anointed you as my Grocery Knight! Behold the title!"

Derek complied while looking like he wanted to maul Stiles to death.

* * *

That night was the first night, and Stiles was ready. She prepared the bath towel around her hips area on the bed, checking that everything is fine and then put some pain medicine on the tale beside her bed. Derek watched the ritual in silence, and Stiles didn't feel like explaining because the cramp has started. It was always painful for Stiles, especially when she ate cold stuff (why why why she ate the ice cream after dinner—curse her inability to refuse ice cream even when she knew she would regret it after) so she quickly climbed to bed and curled. It was lucky that the next day is Saturday; at least Stiles could bury herself under her blanket for the whole weekend.

She felt the bed creaked when Derek slipped on the bed as well. The pain suddenly spiked, so she gritted her teeth and wished herself to sleep. Yet she was surprised when Derek came behind her and hugged her, with the blanket and all.

"Is it painful?"

Stiles nodded. Derek patted her head and hugged her from behind, even though both of them were still awake. Stiles felt weird as Derek took the blanket away, then slowly massaged the nape of her neck, and then massaging her back, then her tummy. It felt ticklish; and she wanted to laugh, but the pain forbid her from being cheerful. Yet slowly she get used to the massage and it was quite wonderful.

"Sleep." Derek whispered. "I'll take care of you."

Stiles nodded. She closed her eyes, but she asked with sleepy tone, "You are good… have you don't this before?"

Stiles was asleep before Derek even answered. She never heard Derek muttering "Kate" as he kissed her hair.

* * *

Not even Scott was this good towards her, Stiles thought as she slowly sipped the hot chocolate Derek made for her. Sheriff Stilinski was suddenly called to the station due to some minor break in case, and he left the house after telling Stiles to cook whatever she wanted tonight—he would try to be back for dinner. Stiles nodded and wondering whether her dad knows that for the first day of her period, she really doesn't want to do anything but curl up on bed and wishing to kill her own uterus; so cooking usually is out of the menu. Stiles usually cheated and ordered delivery before her father came back, and she was ready to do that before Derek took charge and started to cook something.

Stiles wanted to scream no, since she knew Derek was no good in the kitchen, yet when he came out from the kitchen with a mug of chocolate, peeping hot and some chocolate biscuits on a plate, Stiles melted and let him be. She curled on the sofa with her blanket all around her, enjoying the drink and chocolate galore. It was the best thing ever, showing how attentive Derek was. Stiles was curious how come Derek was so good at this, but currently she doesn't have the will to ask.

Dinner was simple, consisting of microwaveable ready-made food. Stiles sighed and laughed at herself wondering why she believes Derek could actually cook. Nevertheless she enjoyed the dinner, especially when Derek refused to give her more ice cream and instead gave her hot honey lemon.

"You are an absolute angel." Stiles moaned appreciatively. "Why do you know so much about this?"

Derek grunted. "I have a sister and a fiancee. It was required."

Stiles suddenly felt the honey lemon tasted too bitter. Fiancee? Of course, silly Stiles. Derek is a handsome and wonderful man, of course he is already in love with someone else. Just like Scott. Ah. Disappointment. And also the embarrassment of her arrogance of thinking that Derek did this for her only. Of course he doesn't. of course.

"Where are they now?" Stiles wondered just to change to subject. She wouldn't let herself immerse in the depression again. What did she expect anyway?

"They are dead."

"What." Stiles turned so fast her neck went crack! And it hurt so bad. Stiles tried to relax her shoulder and neck, before trying to speak again. When the pain resided, she realised that Derek has moved and sat beside her, hands wonderfully kneading her stiff shoulders.

"Slow, girl." Derek smirked. Stiles was surprised.

"You are smiling!"

Derek immediately scowled, and Stiles regretted pointing out the smile. Silly Stiles, always saying the wrong thing.

"Sorry, I mean I am so sorry to hear that… but what happened? Are you alright? Do you want to share? I can listen if you want to, I am a good listener!" Stiles quickly commented, turning to face Derek. Suddenly she realised that her face was inches away from his. Not good. Derek smelled good.

Derek shook his head softly. "Thank you, Stiles."

The soft rejection was enough pointers for Stiles to not ask further. Which means she started to babble about all the questions and demanding answers about it. Finally Derek relented and answered most of her questions with short, concise answer like "no, yes, nothing, not your business."

She went to bed feeling bad and also curious at the same time. And then when Derek massaged her again, she fell asleep in minutes. But she woke up in the middle of the night, when she felt particularly big chunk of her blood has sipped through her panties (this is her super power, which allows her to wake up whenever the flow became too much. It saved her so many times from the need to wash soiled underwear and bedsheet in the morning), she felt Derek hugged her closer and whispered, "Go back to sleep, Kate, I've got you."

Stiles couldn't sleep after that. She bet her head that Kate is not the sister, because judging from how Derek was hugging her, it felt more intimate than a sister brother relationship.

So… Kate.

One name that tells so much. Stiles imagined her as a perfect woman, probably blonde with nice body and huge breasts, which was the usual kind that boys like. Derek and Kate looked so wonderful together. And then she wondered to Alison, and then to herself. Kate and Allison are good names, feminine, sexy names. Stiles, on the other hand, sounded more like a boy, or a pet.

Ah why should she bring herself down?

She hated this. The jealousy, the degrading thinking of comparing other excellent ladies to herself, the embarrassment for thinking that she actually is attractive for any boy or man, the disappointment when she knows that the men she likes has liked somebody else. Men she likes… No, she doesn't like Derek at all. Derek was just there, so probably Stiles mixed him up with Scott. Because Scott was never there with her anymore.

Stiles watched as the dark room slowly become more and more familiar. Her eyes traced the furniture, wondering whether her room was adequate as a girl room. She never has a mother, and Melissa never helped her to choose her furniture. She wondered whether if she has a mother, a real living mother, probably she would have better role model and she could teach her what boys like, what should she do to be liked, to be loved, and to be perfect all around.

She couldn't blame her mother leaving, of course. Stiles felt so weak for even thinking of that. She knew how desperate she sounded like.

The painful cramp came and distracted her from the pain in her chest.

And she felt Derek's arm around her even tighter.

Stiles wanted to cry for the unfairness of all.

Why cant the person she likes like her back?

* * *

Stiles tried her best to ignore her own thinking. She tried to accept everything as it is and treated Derek like he was just a friend. She ignored his smiles, his big hands and warm arms. She ignored the way he sometimes cuddled like a puppy in the morning. She also ignored Scott making eyes with Allison, Scott came to her and said hello but then immediately talked about Allison this and that. Stiles tried to ignore Scott when he stupidly invited Allison to eat with them, to share a bench with them, to make group with them. Instead sometimes she ran to Danny to make group, but most of the time Danny has paired up with one of the Jock Jerk Jackson, so she ended up making group with the perfect Lydia Martin.

She ignored everything around her by focusing on something else, like tonight's dinner or catching up on materials she has missed due to her swollen ankle last time. She quitted the cheerleading squad, as she doesn't think it worth it anymore—Scott doesn't need her to cheer him up in the Lacrosse team—now that Scott is a werewolf with hunk body, he got endless supply of ladies cheering for him. He got into the main team right away, and actually doing pretty good.

Stiles smiled sadly as she sat on the bench, watching the practice. There were too many girls cheering for the team, but she could see Scott smiling toward only one girl—Allison—who was sitting on the other end of Stiles bench. Stiles didn't even feel the need to compete with Allison anymore. She knew when she was defeated, utter and completely defeated.

"Hey Stiles." Danny suddenly called her, making her turned toward him. Scott was behind him, smiling at her. Stiles wondered for a moment that probably Scott was coming to her again, but when he walked passed her and then sat beside Allison on the other end of bench, Stiles sighed and smiled depreciatingly.

Danny, on the other hand, sat beside her.

"…Don't worry about him. He is just being an idiot, with the usual teenage hormone and everything. You are a great girl, and you know it, right?" Danny smiled reassuringly. Stiles smiled back, feeling lift up a bit.

"You are a great man, Danny."

Danny smiled back and patted her back. "Just taking care of my friend. Look at Jackson, he is so deep inside his ass that he hurt people who actually loved him."

Stiles laughed softly, wondering why Danny was acting so nicely at her. Why? What does he wanted from Stiles? Danny seemed to have everything, perfect body, cute handsome face, accepting friends and family for his sexual orientation, and enough money to go to private college. So why was he talking to Stiles? Was Stiles another charity case for him?

"…Danny, do you think I am attractive?"

Danny looked at her. His face and surprised expression proofed Stiles' fear. "..You know I am not really attracted to girls, yeah?"

"I know. I just want to ask. Would you sleep with me if you are straight?"

_Lie to me, please. I need it. _

Danny shrugged. But he smiled with kindness. "Of course. You are the most wonderful girl a boy can have, Stiles."

Stiles felt her eyes prickled, but she smiled anyway. "Thank you, Danny. You are the best."

Danny nodded. "You are great, Stiles. Trust me. And if you need anybody to talk to, I am here."

Stiles felt a bit better after that, and she left without saying goodbye to Scott. Not that he cared anyway.

* * *

"…You can fuck me, you know." Stiles blurted out that night, when they were in bed.

Immediately after she said that, she regretted it. She didn't know why she said that. Just Danny's words swimming inside her mind, and when she compared it to the movies and books she read, those words were the words the hero gave to the heroine's best friend who are insecure and less pretty and was just there as a sidekick. In essence, the consolation a boy gave to an unattractive girl. That made Stiles afraid that she was actually unwanted and unattractive.

To reassure herself, she just suddenly jump to a conclusion that if Derek would fuck her, then she was still okay, attractive, _wanted_.

Wrong, _wrong_ thing to say.

Because Derek suddenly move away from her, looking as if she was talking in alien language. Stiles laughed it off, as a joke, and Derek looked like he loosened a bit. But damn tears actually betrayed her. She started sobbing even though she tried to laugh. No, no, no tears. Damn hormone. She is more prone to tears whenever she just had her period. Stupid, stupid Stiles.

"Am I that bad?" Stiles tilted her head, eyes blurred with water. Her chest was pounding hard, pain twisting her chest. Her voice showed how broken she felt. They have been sleeping on the same bed for a week and a few days, give or take, and not even once Derek tried to touch her inappropriately. Cursed her limited knowledge about boys, but even knew that boys couldn't have their hands off girls if they could help it. So the fact that Derek has shown no interest on her at all hurt her pride so hard. And she was desperate. She wanted to feel _wanted_.

"Stiles, it's not… this is not right." Derek spoke out, and it was one of the longer sentences the man has ever said to her throughout the week. She wanted to laugh. He spoke that much just to reject her.

She wanted to be wanted, damn it. She wanted to feel how it felt to be loved like Allison being loved by Scott. Can't she have that for a night, just a night?

"I want it. Don't you?" Stiles asked.

"Look, I know you are having a hard time now, but you'll regret this after. You don't even know me all that well…"

"No." Stiles shook her head. She won't regret anything anymore. She has nothing else to lose. Nothing. "I don't care. I won't regret any of this. I knew you for the past week, and I let you in without asking much. Just… can't you return the favour for tonight? Just once?... and then you can go. I'll let you do whatever you want. I am quite bendy, you know."

Derek stiffened. Stiles rubbed her eyes, wondering whether she should move to the guest room now. But then she felt Derek's hand on her cheek, rubbing it slowly.

"I like you, Stiles. But I am not ready for anything more serious. I just lost my family and was betrayed by my fiancée. I can't give you much promise or commitment. I have nothing to offer. I want to touch you. But I can't offer whatever you need. So I don't touch you. I respect you. Do you understand me?"

Stiles nodded. "ye…yeah." She didn't, actually. She was lying through her teeth. "Alright. I am sorry for saying anything at all."

She buried herself inside the blanket like a burrito and wished she could easily reboot her life, like she does to her laptop.

* * *

The next morning she wondered why she woke up with empty bed. Derek was nowhere to be found. Then she remembered the night before, and realised how embarrassing she was behaving. Stupid, stupid Stiles.

She went to the bathroom and watched her own image in the mirror. Mirror, mirror, who is the stupidest of all?

She took double dose of her usual ADHD medication, thinking that supressing her thought for the day would be better than thinking too much.

* * *

She was surprised to find that she has forgotten Melissa birthday. She just remembered when Scott came to her in the class and told her about the dinner that night would take place at his place. Initially she wondered why dinner, but then she checked her phone and yes, it was Melissa's birthday (she has an alarm in her phone calendar). Shit, she hasn't prepared any gift and she didn't tell her father either. She quickly texted her father, and asked him to get some bouquet of flowers for both of them.

After school, she let Scott get into her jeep, while Allison took the passenger seat on the back. Allison has a small beautifully wrapped box in her hands, and she was smiling prettily, asking for assurance that Melissa would like her present. Scott smiled and assured her, and Stiles did the same.

Stiles felt so wretched. She watched as Allison kissed Melissa's cheek, congratulating her and then giving the present. She watched as Melissa squealed in happiness when she saw a beautiful simple silver bracelet in the box and thanked Allison. She felt so wretched when she hugged Melissa and told her that father would bring the present from both of them. She felt wretched when Melissa smiled at her lovingly and kissed her forehead and told her she doesn't want present, Stiles being there was already present enough. Stiles felt wretched when she tried to help, but Allison has taken her space and helped Melissa out. Melissa asked Stiles to go and wait with Scott, and it hurt her chest so deeply. She doesn't know why, but she really afraid of Allison taking her space in the McCall household. She was the daughter, but now Allison might already take over her spot.

Her father came quite late, but the dinner was wonderful. Her father looked at Scott and Allison, then looked at Stiles questioningly. Stiles pretended she didn't realise her father's eyes. And then Melissa and her father started to talk and they looked so comfy with one another. Her father brought a big flower bouquet, and a box of the best chocolate. It was the brand Melissa like, and they shared the box together. Stiles sat on the table, watching two couples being nice and lovey dovey to one another, and then wondered why she even bothered being there. She flicked through the television while Scott and Allison answering Melissa and her father's questions.

When the dinner finally finished, she entered her jeep and turned on the engine. She was thankful that her father brought his own car. She has said goodbye earlier, telling them that she needed to head back and do her homework. Melissa didn't want to let her go, but Scott ensured her it was fine, and so she left. Stiles left feeling like lowest of idiots.

* * *

When she opened her door, Derek was actually on the bed. Stiles looked away and changed, didn't bother to cover herself. Derek has established that he didn't find Stiles attractive, so there was no point to cover up. Even being naked, Stiles was unwanted and unattractive.

"Where were you?" Derek asked. Stiles didn't answer. There was no need for her to answer. He didn't care about her, so why did he want to know anyway?

"Stiles, you were late and you reeked of sadness. What happened?"

Stiles ignored the man and stripped naked. She then walked around the room, turning on the laptop and bends down to find some old comfy clothes for pyjamas. She wanted to take a long bath now. Since her father won't be back home until late, just like usual whenever he gets to spend time with Melissa.

"Please cover yourself." Derek whispered softly.

Stiles shrugged but covered her body with towel. She took the bottle of rose bath salt, a birthday present from Melissa two years ago (it showed how unfeminine Stiles are, since the bath set was still mostly intact, unused). "Why should I? This is my room, and you don't want me anyway. Just look away."

"I… I am still a man, Stiles."

"Great. Good. You are a man, so what? Why are you here anyway? I thought you have left this morning. No other place to go is it? Poor you, returning to the hell hole with _Stiles_ because you don't have anywhere else to go. If you are uncomfortable, then you are most welcome to leave."

Actually it was best if Derek left, so Stiles could brood and immersed in her loneliness alone in her room.

Stiles ignored Derek's reaction and went to the bathroom to wash herself and prepared to sleep. She decided there was no point of brooding, since no one cares anyway. She just need to pass through one day at a time, and things would get better. Probably she could get father to marry Melissa and so they would have each other and then Stiles would be free to go someplace else, far far away where she was actually needed. Something like volunteering. Yeah. That sounded good. She would find her place someplace else because she has lost her place here.

Feeling better after the long bath, she slipped into bed with wet hair and warmth. Tomorrow would be a better day, she was sure about it. Just be positive. Be positive, Be positive.

A hand slipped to her waist and pulled her to a strong, sturdy chest.

Be positive.


End file.
